Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Sadness and Grief

This morning I awoke to find that a former co-worker's husband committed suicide last night. From the sketchy details I got, she apparently tried to take the gun away from but was unable to. 
I am saddened greatly... not because I knew and liked him - I only met him once at their wedding. I am saddened because he leaves behind a beautiful young wife and son who loved him. I am saddened for the grief I know she feels today. I am saddened because her son will have to grow up without his father. I am saddened that he felt this was his only way out of whatever it was that was bothering him. 
Suicide is such an ugly thing. It's hateful, and its deceptively easy to do. Everything seems so out of control, that its easy to pick up the razor blade, pill bottle, or gun... it seems the only thing you can do. 
Suicide leaves those left behind wondering what happened... what could I have done differently to stop this. In this case, my friend did everything she knew to do - she called 911, she tried to get the gun away, and I'm sure she cried, begged, and pleaded with him to reconsider. She will unfortunately have to live with that image for the rest of her life - the one in which the man she chose to spend her life with decided he wasn't worth the life he was given... The one in which the father of her baby couldn't chase away the demons long enough to enjoy the rich and wonderful life they were building together... 
She's also left with guilt - guilt over not being able to do enough to help him, or stop him. 


Please remember, sometimes your friends or family are coping with things you don't know about. Sometimes, when the lights go out and they're all alone the demons come to play. Sometimes they can't just say no to the demons. They may not reach out, they might feel they're a lost cause, or they might just think you don't care. Reach out to someone today, just to say you love them, are thinking of them, are praying for them, or that you just want to see how they are. Keep tabs on those you love, let them know you love them, give them a hug - just because. 
Remember, you can make a difference in the life of someone you love, just by being there. 

6 comments:

mepsipax said...

Ouch that sucks. I know what she went through. My stepdad committed suicide. Such a pointless thing to do.

Magimom said...

It is, and so sad when one has an entire life to look forward to.

Stimey said...

I'm so sorry. This is so sad.

browneyes_24b said...

I am so sorry to hear about such a tragedy. My thoughts go out to his wife and son. How terribly heartbreaking.

Kerry Neville Bakken said...

Thanks for posting this. I've been going through some rough stuff and stories like this remind me I need to stay put. Really stay put.

Stopping by from SITS

http://mommamaybemad.blogspot.com/2010/04/to-sleep-perchance-to-dream.html

Jen @ After The Alter said...

wow how sad and horrible for your co worker. I can't imagine living with that the rest of my life. I feel like people who commit suicide forget about the horror they are leaving behind w/ loved ones. How awful

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